1
00:00:02,403 --> 00:00:03,702
Hi.
Good evening.
2
00:00:03,704 --> 00:00:05,070
May I take your coats?
Thanks.
3
00:00:05,072 --> 00:00:07,672
That's the most absurd
thing I've ever heard!
4
00:00:07,674 --> 00:00:09,373
Your mother's
in the living room.
5
00:00:09,375 --> 00:00:12,175
Last chance to run, huh?
Excuse me?
6
00:00:12,177 --> 00:00:14,777
Just ignore her.
7
00:00:14,779 --> 00:00:15,778
Of course I said it!
8
00:00:15,780 --> 00:00:20,582
I can't imagine who would take
"jackbooted" as a compliment.
9
00:00:20,584 --> 00:00:21,616
I will not apologize!
10
00:00:21,618 --> 00:00:23,417
Every time she went
to the pantry,
11
00:00:23,419 --> 00:00:25,285
I thought she was marching
on Poland.
12
00:00:25,287 --> 00:00:29,555
Oh, I see, because I want things
a certain way, I'm unreasonable?
13
00:00:29,557 --> 00:00:30,155
Shh.
14
00:00:30,157 --> 00:00:32,423
That's the most absurd...
I wanna see this document.
15
00:00:32,425 --> 00:00:35,492
Fax it to me immediately.
"Fax it to me immediately"?
16
00:00:35,494 --> 00:00:36,593
She's part
of the electronic age.
17
00:00:36,595 --> 00:00:39,495
Tomorrow morning
is completely unacceptable.
18
00:00:39,497 --> 00:00:42,698
It's unacceptable because
I'm paying you $300 an hour.
19
00:00:42,700 --> 00:00:44,266
So turn that little
near-luxury car around,
20
00:00:44,268 --> 00:00:48,169
go back to your office, and fax
me that libelous scrap of paper.
21
00:00:48,171 --> 00:00:50,304
Also if he can pick up
some ice cream.
22
00:00:50,306 --> 00:00:53,740
Tell your wife to tape
your daughter's recital.
23
00:00:53,742 --> 00:00:54,640
Unbelievable.
Hi, mom.
24
00:00:54,642 --> 00:00:56,508
Hey, grandma.
When did you two get here?
25
00:00:56,510 --> 00:00:58,710
Between the second "absurd"
and the third "unbelievable."
26
00:00:58,712 --> 00:01:01,746
I apologize.
That call caught me off guard.
27
00:01:01,748 --> 00:01:04,682
Is everything alright, grandma?
Everything's fine.
28
00:01:04,684 --> 00:01:05,616
You sure?
I'm sure.
29
00:01:05,618 --> 00:01:07,584
You look peeved.
I'm not peeved.
30
00:01:07,586 --> 00:01:08,451
Well, you look peeved.
31
00:01:08,453 --> 00:01:11,120
Kindly stop making me
say the word "peeved."
32
00:01:11,122 --> 00:01:13,355
Mom, spill it.
What's wrong?
33
00:01:13,357 --> 00:01:15,457
That was our lawyer
calling to inform me
34
00:01:15,459 --> 00:01:17,058
that one of our former maids
35
00:01:17,060 --> 00:01:20,094
is suing
for wrongful termination.
36
00:01:20,096 --> 00:01:20,494
Hmm.
37
00:01:20,496 --> 00:01:21,761
You might at least
act surprised.
38
00:01:21,763 --> 00:01:24,396
It's not the first time.
It most certainly is.
39
00:01:24,398 --> 00:01:26,698
Really?
Yes, lorealai, really.
40
00:01:26,700 --> 00:01:27,598
Well, then, I'm surprised.
41
00:01:27,600 --> 00:01:29,166
It's beyond surprising.
It's outrageous.
42
00:01:29,168 --> 00:01:32,068
What did grandpa say?
Your grandfather's still in London
43
00:01:32,070 --> 00:01:34,336
helping his mother close
down her house.
44
00:01:34,338 --> 00:01:37,372
I think he planned it that way.
Which maid was it?
45
00:01:37,374 --> 00:01:39,240
Gerta, the one
from hamburg, Germany.
46
00:01:39,242 --> 00:01:40,708
Which one was she?
You remember.
47
00:01:40,710 --> 00:01:43,711
She was the one you made those
hamburg/hamburger jokes to.
48
00:01:43,713 --> 00:01:45,713
I beat that dead horse.
With glee.
49
00:01:45,715 --> 00:01:47,548
She was the clomper.
"The clomper?"
50
00:01:47,550 --> 00:01:48,515
She'd be making the beds,
51
00:01:48,517 --> 00:01:50,683
it would sound like
a Munich-beer-hall rally.
52
00:01:50,685 --> 00:01:51,784
That's why you fired her?
Yes.
53
00:01:51,786 --> 00:01:54,653
Because she made noise when she walked?
Yes.
54
00:01:54,655 --> 00:01:56,521
Was she a good maid otherwise?
What?
55
00:01:56,523 --> 00:01:58,556
Besides the clomping,
was she polite, on time,
56
00:01:58,558 --> 00:02:01,325
made sure the little fork
went on the outside?
57
00:02:01,327 --> 00:02:02,392
Have you been listening to me?
58
00:02:02,394 --> 00:02:04,460
She wasn't performing
her duties as I wished
59
00:02:04,462 --> 00:02:06,295
them to be performed.
The rest doesn't matter.
60
00:02:06,297 --> 00:02:09,298
It's always something.
What's that supposed to mean?
61
00:02:09,300 --> 00:02:11,266
You find the one thing
about a maid
62
00:02:11,268 --> 00:02:12,667
that negates
all of her good qualities.
63
00:02:12,669 --> 00:02:16,237
Isn't it easier to let
a couple of things slide?
64
00:02:16,239 --> 00:02:16,870
So it's my fault.
65
00:02:16,872 --> 00:02:18,638
I didn't say that.
No, lorelai, you did.
66
00:02:18,640 --> 00:02:21,374
For years I've been listening
to you and your father
67
00:02:21,376 --> 00:02:24,210
and everyone else go on
about how demanding I am.
68
00:02:24,212 --> 00:02:26,178
How I have to have
things a certain way.
69
00:02:26,180 --> 00:02:29,281
I pay to have them that way.
I pay more than anyone else.
70
00:02:29,283 --> 00:02:33,585
When it's not how I want,
it means I'm not getting what I paid for.
71
00:02:33,587 --> 00:02:34,819
Why is that hard to understand?
72
00:02:34,821 --> 00:02:36,353
It isn't hard to understand,
it's...
73
00:02:36,355 --> 00:02:38,788
if you pay for first class
and you end up in coach,
74
00:02:38,790 --> 00:02:42,291
people expect you to be upset.
No one calls you demanding or unreasonable.
75
00:02:42,293 --> 00:02:46,662
And yet this woman whom I pay more than
she could get anywhere else in Hartford,
76
00:02:46,664 --> 00:02:50,599
whose severance package could finance
a summer cruise down the rhine
77
00:02:50,601 --> 00:02:53,435
dragging me into court
saying that I was unfair.
78
00:02:53,437 --> 00:02:54,736
Why? Because having paid
for one thing,
79
00:02:54,738 --> 00:02:58,372
I'm not content with something
else? That makes me unfair?
80
00:02:58,374 --> 00:02:59,206
Well, then, so be it.
81
00:02:59,208 --> 00:03:02,509
Let someone else pay first class
and ride in steerage, not me.
82
00:03:02,511 --> 00:03:04,377
Excuse me, Mrs. gilmore.
Dinner's ready.
83
00:03:04,379 --> 00:03:07,580
Thank you, Brooke.
We'll be right there.
84
00:03:07,582 --> 00:03:09,748
Wait, wait, wait.
85
00:03:09,750 --> 00:03:10,715
Do you hear that?
86
00:03:10,717 --> 00:03:14,218
Hear what?
Exactly.
87
00:03:15,888 --> 00:03:19,389
♪ If you're out on the road ♪
88
00:03:19,391 --> 00:03:24,360
♪ feelin' lonely and so cold ♪
89
00:03:24,362 --> 00:03:28,263
♪ all you have to do
is call my name ♪
90
00:03:28,265 --> 00:03:32,900
♪ and I'll be there
on the next train ♪
91
00:03:32,902 --> 00:03:37,537
♪ where you lead,
I will follow ♪
92
00:03:37,539 --> 00:03:41,774
♪ anywhere that you tell me to ♪
93
00:03:41,776 --> 00:03:43,776
♪ if you need ♪
♪ if you need ♪
94
00:03:43,778 --> 00:03:46,879
♪ you need me to be with you ♪
95
00:03:46,881 --> 00:03:48,513
♪ I will follow ♪
96
00:03:48,515 --> 00:03:50,414
♪ oh, oh, oh ♪
97
00:03:50,416 --> 00:03:55,318
♪ where you lead,
I will follow ♪
98
00:03:55,320 --> 00:03:59,855
♪ any, anywhere
that you tell me to ♪
99
00:03:59,857 --> 00:04:01,890
♪ if you need ♪
♪ if you need ♪
100
00:04:01,892 --> 00:04:04,559
♪ you need me to be with you ♪
101
00:04:04,561 --> 00:04:09,630
♪ I will follow where you lead ♪
102
00:04:12,568 --> 00:04:15,635
next time I want some grapefruit,
I'm just gonna ask for a kazoo.
103
00:04:15,637 --> 00:04:19,505
'Cause you can only seem to give
me the most bizarre opposite.
104
00:04:19,507 --> 00:04:21,406
I need you to...
shh! Shh!
105
00:04:21,408 --> 00:04:24,208
It's started! You were supposed
to call me.
106
00:04:24,210 --> 00:04:24,942
Stop talking.
107
00:04:24,944 --> 00:04:26,376
I understand perfectly.
108
00:04:26,378 --> 00:04:28,311
You wanna be a dictator!
Come off it!
109
00:04:28,313 --> 00:04:30,680
Commandant St. James says,
"brussels sprouts!
110
00:04:30,682 --> 00:04:32,448
You will bring me
the brussels sprouts!"
111
00:04:32,450 --> 00:04:35,350
I'm trying to plan a menu here,
Jackson!
112
00:04:35,352 --> 00:04:36,250
Fill me in, please.
113
00:04:36,252 --> 00:04:38,952
Jackson brought pea tendrils
instead of brussels sprouts.
114
00:04:38,954 --> 00:04:40,653
Aren't we evel knievel?
Coffee?
115
00:04:40,655 --> 00:04:44,456
Pea tendrils are too delicate
to serve with the lamb shank!
116
00:04:44,458 --> 00:04:45,623
I don't think that they are!
117
00:04:45,625 --> 00:04:46,957
Where are the brussels sprouts?
118
00:04:46,959 --> 00:04:49,893
I looked at the stocks.
They weren't good enough!
119
00:04:49,895 --> 00:04:50,760
You always do this!
120
00:04:50,762 --> 00:04:52,828
Doesn't it matter
that I care so much
121
00:04:52,830 --> 00:04:53,995
about the quality
of the produce
122
00:04:53,997 --> 00:04:56,530
that I'd be willing to risk
an enormous argument
123
00:04:56,532 --> 00:04:59,266
just to save your dinner?
Oops. That was dumb.
124
00:04:59,268 --> 00:05:01,268
Save my dinner?
You know what I meant.
125
00:05:01,270 --> 00:05:04,271
Yes, my dinner is out standing
on a ledge.
126
00:05:04,273 --> 00:05:05,972
"Oh, no!
What's gonna happen?"
127
00:05:05,974 --> 00:05:08,240
Sookie...
"Wait. What's that?
128
00:05:08,242 --> 00:05:09,241
"It's a bird.
It's a plane.
129
00:05:09,243 --> 00:05:12,577
It's superjackson
and his atomic pea tendrils!"
130
00:05:12,579 --> 00:05:14,378
You wanna get
another produce guy?
131
00:05:14,380 --> 00:05:15,645
Maybe I should.
Well, go ahead.
132
00:05:15,647 --> 00:05:17,913
Don't tempt me!
That's it! I am leaving!
133
00:05:17,915 --> 00:05:20,749
Go! But take the tendrils
with ya!
134
00:05:20,751 --> 00:05:22,450
Fine!
135
00:05:22,452 --> 00:05:24,251
See you tonight?
I love you.
136
00:05:24,253 --> 00:05:27,954
And it always ends with a hug.
Okay, what do you need?
137
00:05:27,956 --> 00:05:29,755
The new insurance policies
you ordered.
138
00:05:29,757 --> 00:05:32,424
Good. And the inspector's
supposed to be coming by
139
00:05:32,426 --> 00:05:33,625
to check the place out
tomorrow,
140
00:05:33,627 --> 00:05:35,593
you'll have to show him around.
What?
141
00:05:35,595 --> 00:05:36,827
You're covering for me,
remember?
142
00:05:36,829 --> 00:05:39,029
Yes. Tomorrow, the
two of you go back to school.
143
00:05:39,031 --> 00:05:42,966
It's not school. It's a one-day
course at the learning center.
144
00:05:42,968 --> 00:05:43,833
"How to run an inn."
145
00:05:43,835 --> 00:05:45,801
Amazing you've been able
to fake it so long.
146
00:05:45,803 --> 00:05:49,538
This is specific to opening
small inns, bed and breakfasts.
147
00:05:49,540 --> 00:05:51,406
I see. "Order half
of everything."
148
00:05:51,408 --> 00:05:52,507
There... you owe me $75.
149
00:05:52,509 --> 00:05:55,610
Why are you being a snob?
You went to hotel school.
150
00:05:55,612 --> 00:05:57,478
I attended
the ecole hoteliere de geneve.
151
00:05:57,480 --> 00:05:58,946
That'll make one hell
of a sweatshirt.
152
00:05:58,948 --> 00:06:01,715
It was one of the premiere
hotel schools in the world.
153
00:06:01,717 --> 00:06:04,684
You two are going to take
a two-hour course at a radisson.
154
00:06:04,686 --> 00:06:07,653
Jackson's taken a lot of courses
through the learning center,
155
00:06:07,655 --> 00:06:09,488
and he loves it.
He took beekeeping...
156
00:06:09,490 --> 00:06:12,557
Jackson keeps bees?
No, it turned out he was allergic.
157
00:06:12,559 --> 00:06:14,559
One stung his lip,
and his whole head
158
00:06:14,561 --> 00:06:16,761
blew up to three times
its normal size.
159
00:06:16,763 --> 00:06:17,895
Please tell me
you have pictures.
160
00:06:17,897 --> 00:06:20,831
He took a course on how to buy
foreclosed real estate,
161
00:06:20,833 --> 00:06:24,568
and how to write a diary.
How do you not know that?
162
00:06:24,570 --> 00:06:25,869
He's a searcher.
Yes, he is.
163
00:06:25,871 --> 00:06:27,871
I think he was lonely
before we met
164
00:06:27,873 --> 00:06:30,039
and he didn't live near a bar.
Yes.
165
00:06:30,041 --> 00:06:32,408
Tomorrow will be
a waste of time and money.
166
00:06:32,410 --> 00:06:35,411
I'll be here to laugh
at you when you return.
167
00:06:35,413 --> 00:06:36,445
Thanks for your support.
168
00:06:36,447 --> 00:06:38,079
Forget him. Opening
an inn is a huge step,
169
00:06:38,081 --> 00:06:41,348
anything that might help is worth trying.
Exactly, partner.
170
00:06:41,350 --> 00:06:44,684
Tell me you got pictures
of Jackson and his giant head.
171
00:06:44,686 --> 00:06:47,520
I'll bring them in tomorrow.
172
00:06:50,057 --> 00:06:53,358
Hey, Paris. Have you looked over
the votes for commencement speaker?
173
00:06:53,360 --> 00:06:56,961
Yeah. Are the ones for princess
Diana's Butler jokes or real?
174
00:06:56,963 --> 00:06:58,796
Jokes. What about the
ones for Dr. Phil?
175
00:06:58,798 --> 00:07:02,666
I think real.
I knew that suggestion box was a bad idea.
176
00:07:02,668 --> 00:07:03,600
Watch choate get Joan didion
177
00:07:03,602 --> 00:07:05,368
while we're being read
"Eloise at the Plaza."
178
00:07:05,370 --> 00:07:08,404
Before the others get here,
we should probably decide
179
00:07:08,406 --> 00:07:09,638
what we're gonna do.
About what?
180
00:07:09,640 --> 00:07:11,806
The prom coup francie
staged last week.
181
00:07:11,808 --> 00:07:12,907
You mean booking
Wadsworth mansion?
182
00:07:12,909 --> 00:07:15,542
Using the money for the
telescope for the senior gift.
183
00:07:15,544 --> 00:07:18,678
Why does one pinhead always
have to vote for Jerry Garcia?
184
00:07:18,680 --> 00:07:20,680
I'm not sure if the
deposit check...
185
00:07:20,682 --> 00:07:21,714
I took care of that.
What?
186
00:07:21,716 --> 00:07:24,516
Wadsworth mansion is owned by the
Connecticut daughters of the mayflower.
187
00:07:24,518 --> 00:07:28,553
Most of those biddies couldn't negotiate
an icy sidewalk much less a contract.
188
00:07:28,555 --> 00:07:31,389
Took me five minutes to get them
to half their asking price.
189
00:07:31,391 --> 00:07:35,025
You're kidding. I wasn't gonna let
the class gift be a stupid tree
190
00:07:35,027 --> 00:07:37,627
just so ginger spice can have
her Barbie dream prom.
191
00:07:37,629 --> 00:07:40,963
She's a sneak.
She's not smart enough to be a sneak.
192
00:07:40,965 --> 00:07:43,632
It's that loser Mr. hunter
that let her get away with it.
193
00:07:43,634 --> 00:07:48,637
She forced him into it. You can't
force a teacher into something, Rory.
194
00:07:48,639 --> 00:07:49,771
No, it was hunter.
195
00:07:49,773 --> 00:07:51,706
He's been jealous
since I got into office.
196
00:07:51,708 --> 00:07:54,041
Whenever I announce I have
a new motion to introduce,
197
00:07:54,043 --> 00:07:57,544
he flinches, actually physically
tightens up for a moment.
198
00:07:57,546 --> 00:07:58,778
It's creepy.
Yeah. But...
199
00:07:58,780 --> 00:08:00,880
our fearless leaders
at work already.
200
00:08:00,882 --> 00:08:02,114
I feel so safe.
201
00:08:02,116 --> 00:08:05,016
That girl bugs me.
Relax. She's harmless.
202
00:08:05,018 --> 00:08:05,783
Paris, Rory.
203
00:08:05,785 --> 00:08:09,087
"Paris, Rory." Bed wetter.
Shall we sit?
204
00:08:09,089 --> 00:08:10,822
Fine, let's sit.
205
00:08:12,158 --> 00:08:16,059
I call this meeting of the
student council to order.
206
00:08:17,595 --> 00:08:19,628
Is the secretary ready?
I am.
207
00:08:19,630 --> 00:08:20,528
Then let's proceed.
208
00:08:20,530 --> 00:08:21,929
First of all,
I'd like to apologize
209
00:08:21,931 --> 00:08:24,631
for missing last week's
somewhat impromptu meeting.
210
00:08:24,633 --> 00:08:26,766
As most of you know,
its scheduling
211
00:08:26,768 --> 00:08:27,633
was somewhat unorthodox
212
00:08:27,635 --> 00:08:29,935
since the meeting was
a supplementary meeting,
213
00:08:29,937 --> 00:08:31,803
which was a concept
invented by me.
214
00:08:31,805 --> 00:08:33,905
So the fact that anyone
would hold a meeting
215
00:08:33,907 --> 00:08:37,008
invented by a certain person
without that certain person
216
00:08:37,010 --> 00:08:40,144
seems, well, let's see...
what's the word?..
217
00:08:40,146 --> 00:08:42,913
mutinous, insulting,
underhanded,
218
00:08:42,915 --> 00:08:44,247
and, in the end, fruitless,
219
00:08:44,249 --> 00:08:46,849
since I managed to renegotiate
the rental fee
220
00:08:46,851 --> 00:08:47,783
for the Wadsworth mansion
221
00:08:47,785 --> 00:08:49,951
so that we'll be able
to have the prom
222
00:08:49,953 --> 00:08:52,787
and give the school
a respectable senior gift
223
00:08:52,789 --> 00:08:54,155
in the form of a telescope.
224
00:08:54,157 --> 00:08:58,526
Any questions, Mr. Christian...
I mean, Mr. hunter.
225
00:08:58,528 --> 00:08:58,993
Uh, no.
226
00:08:58,995 --> 00:09:01,595
Good. So, now that that's
out of the way,
227
00:09:01,597 --> 00:09:03,897
let's move on
to other business. Francie.
228
00:09:03,899 --> 00:09:05,832
As you know,
health week is coming up.
229
00:09:05,834 --> 00:09:08,034
We have speakers lined up
to discuss everything
230
00:09:08,036 --> 00:09:09,568
from heart disease and exercise
231
00:09:09,570 --> 00:09:11,836
to the dangers
of sun damage and fried food.
232
00:09:11,838 --> 00:09:13,070
Everyone's booked
and ready to go.
233
00:09:13,072 --> 00:09:16,840
We'll need to figure out where
to set up the sign-up table
234
00:09:16,842 --> 00:09:18,741
for the annual blood drive.
Aaaaaah!
235
00:09:18,743 --> 00:09:19,908
Jeez.
What's the matter?
236
00:09:19,910 --> 00:09:22,644
She hates the word "blood."
Give me a heart attack.
237
00:09:22,646 --> 00:09:25,747
Keep your hands on your ears.
Tell me when it's over.
238
00:09:25,749 --> 00:09:28,182
As I was saying before the
freak-out, we've to decide
239
00:09:28,184 --> 00:09:30,984
where to place the sign-up
table for the blood drive.
240
00:09:30,986 --> 00:09:32,585
I can still hear her!
Hum to yourself.
241
00:09:32,587 --> 00:09:35,254
Continue, please.
I'm proposing putting it in the cafeteria.
242
00:09:35,256 --> 00:09:37,155
It's got easy access,
maximum exposure,
243
00:09:37,157 --> 00:09:42,894
almost 90% of the student body visits the
cafeteria every day. It's the perfect location.
244
00:09:42,896 --> 00:09:43,728
Well?
No.
245
00:09:43,730 --> 00:09:46,230
Excuse me?
You can't. It's a fire hazard.
246
00:09:46,232 --> 00:09:48,999
It is? Yes.
You'll have to find another place.
247
00:09:49,001 --> 00:09:51,034
You're kidding.
I never kid about fire safety.
248
00:09:51,036 --> 00:09:53,803
Rory, I actually know the
fire codes for the cafeteria,
249
00:09:53,805 --> 00:09:56,272
and as long as we don't
have more than 300 people,
250
00:09:56,274 --> 00:10:00,042
we can start an opium den, the
fire department wouldn't care.
251
00:10:00,044 --> 00:10:01,610
I think they would care.
252
00:10:01,612 --> 00:10:02,944
I'm not talking
about numbers.
253
00:10:02,946 --> 00:10:04,979
You set up that table, get
people thinking about blood,
254
00:10:04,981 --> 00:10:08,282
someone smells smoke, and the next
thing you know, 50 stampeding teenagers
255
00:10:08,284 --> 00:10:12,152
are using your body to lever
open a door. I won't allow that.
256
00:10:12,154 --> 00:10:13,353
This is "xanadu" - level
of insane.
257
00:10:13,355 --> 00:10:15,321
You do realize you're
opposing the blood drive?
258
00:10:15,323 --> 00:10:17,356
No, I'm opposing the blood drive
in the cafeteria.
259
00:10:17,358 --> 00:10:20,992
Is it that big a deal?
It's the rules of common decency.
260
00:10:20,994 --> 00:10:23,761
And I won't let
francie ignore those rules.
261
00:10:23,763 --> 00:10:26,029
Well, okay. Motion denied.
262
00:10:26,031 --> 00:10:28,931
The senior class president will
come up with an alternate plan
263
00:10:28,933 --> 00:10:31,833
for the location of the sign-up
table for the blood drive.
264
00:10:31,835 --> 00:10:34,268
Louise, poke John Williams
over there and tell her
265
00:10:34,270 --> 00:10:36,270
she can cut the score,
we're moving on.
266
00:10:36,272 --> 00:10:40,374
Advertising space in the
yearbook is only 50% sold.
267
00:10:40,376 --> 00:10:42,876
What are we going to do
about this?
268
00:10:42,878 --> 00:10:45,612
Roger, yes?
Well...
269
00:10:50,318 --> 00:10:51,984
dinner!
Over here!
270
00:10:51,986 --> 00:10:55,287
We are so in luck.
It was international grab-bag night at Al's.
271
00:10:55,289 --> 00:10:58,723
Cool! Did you peek?
And ruin the mystery dinner?
272
00:10:58,725 --> 00:10:59,790
I think not. Pick.
That one.
273
00:10:59,792 --> 00:11:04,961
Okay. I love this. It's food and a game
all-in-one. We open them at the same time.
274
00:11:04,963 --> 00:11:06,195
I know the rules.
Don't jump the gun.
275
00:11:06,197 --> 00:11:08,997
There's too much pressure associated
with international grab-bag night.
276
00:11:08,999 --> 00:11:12,166
I'm your mother.
It's my responsibility to give you structure.
277
00:11:12,168 --> 00:11:15,936
Now, on three.
One, two, three.
278
00:11:15,938 --> 00:11:18,371
Hmm, Moroccan.
You always say Moroccan.
279
00:11:18,373 --> 00:11:21,307
And sooner or later, I will
be right. What's yours?
280
00:11:21,309 --> 00:11:24,109
Pan-Asian, with a hint
of English colonial,
281
00:11:24,111 --> 00:11:25,910
and a few South African
influences.
282
00:11:25,912 --> 00:11:27,311
Way to hedge your bet.
Kitchen?
283
00:11:27,313 --> 00:11:29,846
Just let me check the machine.
Okay.
284
00:11:29,848 --> 00:11:31,681
Miss gilmore, it's Bob merriam,
your mother's lawyer.
285
00:11:31,683 --> 00:11:35,051
I'm calling about the little matter
of this lawsuit she's involved in.
286
00:11:35,053 --> 00:11:38,020
We'd like it if you could give
a deposition on her behalf.
287
00:11:38,022 --> 00:11:42,290
Please call me tomorrow with some
times that would be convenient...
288
00:11:42,292 --> 00:11:43,991
Oh, no!
What?
289
00:11:43,993 --> 00:11:46,293
No, no, no, no, no!
Hello?
290
00:11:46,295 --> 00:11:47,160
No.
Who is this?
291
00:11:47,162 --> 00:11:50,096
I'm not giving a deposition.
Of course you are.
292
00:11:50,098 --> 00:11:51,230
Please leave me out of this.
293
00:11:51,232 --> 00:11:53,899
So you're just going to let this
lead-footed teutonic chambermaid
294
00:11:53,901 --> 00:11:57,836
drag your mother into a public
forum and humiliate her,
295
00:11:57,838 --> 00:11:59,137
is that what I'm hearing?
Mom.
296
00:11:59,139 --> 00:12:00,938
Her lawyer knows we asked
for this deposition.
297
00:12:00,940 --> 00:12:04,341
How's it going to look when you
refuse to testify for your mother?
298
00:12:04,343 --> 00:12:07,944
Like it's not my business.
I'm sure the 12 rocket scientists
299
00:12:07,946 --> 00:12:09,312
they assemble as jury
will see it that way.
300
00:12:09,314 --> 00:12:14,250
Honestly, mom, I doubt they'll find 12
people who haven't been fired by you.
301
00:12:14,252 --> 00:12:16,852
I can't believe my daughter
won't defend me.
302
00:12:16,854 --> 00:12:18,253
I'm not gonna lie for you.
303
00:12:18,255 --> 00:12:19,921
Just tell them
how I treat my maids.
304
00:12:19,923 --> 00:12:24,892
I'm not gonna lie for you.
Just tell them I treat the help fairly.
305
00:12:24,894 --> 00:12:26,994
I'm not gonna lie for you.
Lorelai.
306
00:12:26,996 --> 00:12:28,895
There is something
called family loyalty.
307
00:12:28,897 --> 00:12:31,264
It means when someone is
in trouble, you help them,
308
00:12:31,266 --> 00:12:33,733
as I have helped you several
times over the years.
309
00:12:33,735 --> 00:12:37,403
The very least you could do
in return is spend half an hour
310
00:12:37,405 --> 00:12:40,139
saying something kind
about your mother.
311
00:12:40,141 --> 00:12:41,240
Fine.
312
00:12:41,242 --> 00:12:44,243
Thank you.
Your devotion is touching.
313
00:12:44,378 --> 00:12:45,710
I have to give a deposition.
314
00:12:45,712 --> 00:12:49,480
I don't think this is Moroccan,
or at least not recently.
315
00:12:49,482 --> 00:12:50,714
Want some of mine?
316
00:12:50,716 --> 00:12:51,881
Nope.
Yikes.
317
00:12:51,883 --> 00:12:54,717
Luke's?
Let's go.
318
00:12:59,490 --> 00:13:02,190
I can't stress enough
the value of a good paint job.
319
00:13:02,192 --> 00:13:05,092
One of the first decisions
you'll have to make
320
00:13:05,094 --> 00:13:05,992
when you open your inn
321
00:13:05,994 --> 00:13:09,195
is whether to employ your
housekeepers individually
322
00:13:09,197 --> 00:13:11,997
or contract out to
a housekeeping service.
323
00:13:11,999 --> 00:13:17,836
If you use a service, you'll be assured
of having a replacement housekeeper
324
00:13:17,838 --> 00:13:21,005
if one should call in sick
or quit suddenly.
325
00:13:21,007 --> 00:13:22,439
But you'll pay $2 more an hour,
326
00:13:22,441 --> 00:13:25,241
and they'll be loyal
to the service, not to you.
327
00:13:25,243 --> 00:13:28,510
However, you'll probably end up
paying a bit more
328
00:13:28,512 --> 00:13:31,045
than if you hired them
individually.
329
00:13:31,047 --> 00:13:32,312
I can't believe
you're taking notes.
330
00:13:32,314 --> 00:13:36,182
He has said nothing in the last
two hours that we didn't know,
331
00:13:36,184 --> 00:13:37,983
and he's saying it really
condescendingly.
332
00:13:37,985 --> 00:13:42,754
So, in addition to being bored,
I'm getting hostile and a little insecure
333
00:13:42,756 --> 00:13:44,388
'cause you're studying
and I'm not.
334
00:13:44,390 --> 00:13:46,289
Pick a color.
Pink.
335
00:13:46,291 --> 00:13:48,291
'Cause you're a girl.
Exactly.
336
00:13:48,293 --> 00:13:50,826
P-I-n-k. Pick a number.
337
00:13:50,828 --> 00:13:51,526
Five.
338
00:13:51,528 --> 00:13:54,228
You will marry Shaun Cassidy
and cheat with David.
339
00:13:54,230 --> 00:13:56,496
Well, good for me.
My turn.
340
00:13:57,298 --> 00:13:59,431
Some of us are here to learn.
341
00:13:59,433 --> 00:14:01,499
Sorry.
Yeah, sorry.
342
00:14:01,501 --> 00:14:04,235
We had a cootie catcher.
We're sorry.
343
00:14:04,237 --> 00:14:05,135
As I was saying,
344
00:14:05,137 --> 00:14:08,071
the points we've covered
should get you started,
345
00:14:08,073 --> 00:14:11,974
but remember,
it's a long process,
346
00:14:11,976 --> 00:14:14,810
so don't get discouraged.
I'm sure one day
347
00:14:14,812 --> 00:14:18,213
I'll be staying in each
and every one of your inns.
348
00:14:18,215 --> 00:14:20,348
He's not staying in our inn.
Thank you.
349
00:14:20,350 --> 00:14:24,085
Now, don't run off just yet.
We've got one final treat.
350
00:14:24,087 --> 00:14:28,122
I'd like to introduce you all
to John mattern.
351
00:14:28,124 --> 00:14:31,558
Hello, everyone. I'm very pleased
to be here addressing you today.
352
00:14:31,560 --> 00:14:36,129
I asked Brian if I could have a
few minutes at the end of today
353
00:14:36,131 --> 00:14:38,164
to show you all some
opportunities
354
00:14:38,166 --> 00:14:41,901
that I think you're going
to find really exciting.
355
00:14:41,903 --> 00:14:43,535
I know that I do.
356
00:14:43,537 --> 00:14:45,537
If we could...
357
00:14:45,539 --> 00:14:46,938
Now, this is a lovely property
358
00:14:46,940 --> 00:14:50,975
that has just become available
right outside of litchfield.
359
00:14:50,977 --> 00:14:52,076
It's a sales pitch?
360
00:14:52,078 --> 00:14:54,044
They spent two hours
telling us nothing
361
00:14:54,046 --> 00:14:56,246
and then try to sell us
lame property?
362
00:14:56,248 --> 00:14:58,248
We already know the place
we're buying.
363
00:14:58,250 --> 00:15:00,049
I know.
So what do we do?
364
00:15:00,051 --> 00:15:03,085
I'm crushing your head.
I'm crushing your head.
365
00:15:03,087 --> 00:15:04,186
Let's go.
366
00:15:04,188 --> 00:15:05,520
A perfectly restorable
sun porch
367
00:15:05,522 --> 00:15:07,488
wraps around
the entire main structure.
368
00:15:07,490 --> 00:15:10,491
Let's step inside
this diamond in the rough.
369
00:15:10,493 --> 00:15:11,859
Unbelievable.
Shocking.
370
00:15:11,861 --> 00:15:15,562
We work at an inn for so long
and learn so little.
371
00:15:15,564 --> 00:15:16,362
We must be dumb.
372
00:15:16,364 --> 00:15:18,497
Who would've thought that inns need doors...
not me.
373
00:15:18,499 --> 00:15:20,565
And floors?
Doors and floors... we can't afford that.
374
00:15:20,567 --> 00:15:24,535
Well, we better, otherwise,
our guests will fall right through to China.
375
00:15:24,537 --> 00:15:26,403
I can just imagine
the phone calls.
376
00:15:26,405 --> 00:15:28,538
What was Jackson thinking saying
these courses were good?
377
00:15:28,540 --> 00:15:32,208
The man took a course in diary writing.
Thank God... food.
378
00:15:32,210 --> 00:15:36,512
Is it worth it if we can make up
our $75 admission fee in cookies?
379
00:15:36,514 --> 00:15:39,414
Considering that in the
past hour I uttered the phrase,
380
00:15:39,416 --> 00:15:41,449
"my God, I should've
listened to Michel,"
381
00:15:41,451 --> 00:15:44,485
these better be the best
damn cookies in the world.
382
00:15:44,487 --> 00:15:45,552
And they taste like feet.
383
00:15:45,554 --> 00:15:48,021
Oh, well,
even their cookies suck.
384
00:15:48,023 --> 00:15:49,589
Stand by,
I'm going in for coffee.
385
00:15:49,591 --> 00:15:52,091
Sookie? Sookie St. James?
Uh-huh.
386
00:15:52,093 --> 00:15:54,093
It's Joe... Joe mastoni
from the deerhill lodge.
387
00:15:54,095 --> 00:15:58,397
Oh, my God! Joe! Joe!
Joe from the deerhill lodge!
388
00:15:58,399 --> 00:16:00,632
It's Joe
from the deerhill lodge!
389
00:16:00,634 --> 00:16:02,233
How are you?
390
00:16:02,235 --> 00:16:03,367
Sorry.
391
00:16:03,369 --> 00:16:04,534
Well, come here!
392
00:16:04,536 --> 00:16:06,969
Oh! Lorelai, this is Joe.
393
00:16:06,971 --> 00:16:07,602
Joe, lorelai.
Hi.
394
00:16:07,604 --> 00:16:09,537
Nice to meet you.
This is Alex, my partner.
395
00:16:09,539 --> 00:16:13,274
Business partner. Clarification duly noted.
Nice to meet you.
396
00:16:13,276 --> 00:16:16,277
We worked together one
summer up in the berkshires.
397
00:16:16,279 --> 00:16:18,279
We had a wild time that summer.
398
00:16:18,281 --> 00:16:19,246
Wild time, huh?
Do tell.
399
00:16:19,248 --> 00:16:22,148
We'd all work 14 hours straight,
party till dawn,
400
00:16:22,150 --> 00:16:25,618
pile in Joe's van, and wake up
in New Hampshire or Maine
401
00:16:25,620 --> 00:16:28,954
with just enough time to get
back for the next shift.
402
00:16:28,956 --> 00:16:30,155
We had an interesting crew...
403
00:16:30,157 --> 00:16:32,390
Sookie, me, feldman,
mellon, bung.
404
00:16:32,392 --> 00:16:36,127
Bung? He had been up there
for a couple years already.
405
00:16:36,129 --> 00:16:39,330
But we both were in prep.
And, I repeat, bung?
406
00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:42,333
I'm still wondering if mellon's
a man or a woman.
407
00:16:42,335 --> 00:16:43,600
I promised myself
after that summer
408
00:16:43,602 --> 00:16:47,071
I would never chop small green
things en masse ever again.
409
00:16:47,073 --> 00:16:51,108
Or drink all the leftover wine
on an empty stomach!
410
00:16:51,110 --> 00:16:52,676
Let me see your hands.
411
00:16:52,678 --> 00:16:54,377
Hey, nice blisters.
412
00:16:54,379 --> 00:16:56,746
Let me see yours.
Ooh, not bad, not bad.
413
00:16:56,748 --> 00:16:59,415
I'm careful about using
the towels with the hot stuff.
414
00:16:59,417 --> 00:17:02,017
Sissy. Yeah, yeah.
So what are you doing here?
415
00:17:02,019 --> 00:17:05,020
We are opening an inn together,
so we came for a class.
416
00:17:05,022 --> 00:17:08,623
Really? We're here for a class about
opening your own coffee place.
417
00:17:08,625 --> 00:17:10,057
Chain of coffee places,
actually.
418
00:17:10,059 --> 00:17:12,459
That's great. We'll see.
It's pretty new territory for us.
419
00:17:12,461 --> 00:17:14,794
Joe knows the food industry.
I'm coming from ironworks,
420
00:17:14,796 --> 00:17:18,497
so I basically know what the
security gate should be made of.
421
00:17:18,499 --> 00:17:21,032
Don't listen to him. Alex
is an incredible businessman.
422
00:17:21,034 --> 00:17:23,567
That's true.
We've got the business model planned out.
423
00:17:23,569 --> 00:17:25,602
There's a couple of prime
locations we're interested in.
424
00:17:25,604 --> 00:17:29,305
The only thing left besides building
the place is picking a name.
425
00:17:29,307 --> 00:17:31,607
Oh, little tip...
don't choose anything cute.
426
00:17:31,609 --> 00:17:33,675
Like jitters.
Or spill the beans.
427
00:17:33,677 --> 00:17:35,143
Or higher ground.
Or the mudhouse.
428
00:17:35,145 --> 00:17:37,378
Actually, I kinda like that.
Me too. We call dibs.
429
00:17:37,380 --> 00:17:41,348
I thought you were opening an inn.
We wanna keep our options open.
430
00:17:41,350 --> 00:17:43,083
Did you hear
about feldman's restaurant?
431
00:17:43,085 --> 00:17:44,451
The feldster opened
a restaurant?
432
00:17:44,453 --> 00:17:46,619
I know I'm repeating myself,
but the feldster?
433
00:17:46,621 --> 00:17:48,554
I can't believe he opened
his own place.
434
00:17:48,556 --> 00:17:51,056
He spent the whole summer
getting stoned.
435
00:17:51,058 --> 00:17:52,657
He was our Baker.
Right. That figures.
436
00:17:52,659 --> 00:17:54,358
Huh? Baker... getting baked.
I'm there.
437
00:17:54,360 --> 00:17:57,060
Oh, congratulations. You still
can't have the mudhouse.
438
00:17:57,062 --> 00:17:58,828
Do you remember the last
reception we catered...
439
00:17:58,830 --> 00:18:01,730
the parakeets, everyone dressed
as knights and ladies?
440
00:18:01,732 --> 00:18:04,365
Oh, God.
Old friends, huh?
441
00:18:04,367 --> 00:18:05,567
Yeah, there's nothing like 'em.
442
00:18:05,568 --> 00:18:09,670
I never did figure out how bung
got into a fight with the bride.
443
00:18:09,672 --> 00:18:10,837
One minute, everything's fine.
444
00:18:10,839 --> 00:18:12,338
Next, he's beaning her
with the ice sculpture.
445
00:18:12,340 --> 00:18:16,675
Remember the time you and fat sal
got locked in the freezer overnight?
446
00:18:16,677 --> 00:18:18,710
Fat sal?
Work with me here.
447
00:18:18,712 --> 00:18:19,744
Right.
Fat sal. Yes, right.
448
00:18:19,746 --> 00:18:23,114
Then feldman got into a fight
with the bride's mother.
449
00:18:23,116 --> 00:18:25,382
That's right! He went after
the whole bridal party!
450
00:18:25,384 --> 00:18:27,650
You remember how me and bruiser,
never liked that guy.
451
00:18:27,652 --> 00:18:32,287
We found you guys in the morning,
and you were frozen together like bacon?
452
00:18:32,289 --> 00:18:33,588
Yeah, I still can't eat bacon.
453
00:18:33,590 --> 00:18:35,590
You remember what feldman
told the cops?
454
00:18:35,592 --> 00:18:37,792
Oh, yeah!
455
00:18:37,794 --> 00:18:42,296
Before we would let you out,
we made you and fat sal kiss?
456
00:18:42,298 --> 00:18:43,563
I'm not sure I remember that.
457
00:18:43,565 --> 00:18:45,865
You know,
I actually don't remember
458
00:18:45,867 --> 00:18:46,866
what feldman told the cops.
459
00:18:46,868 --> 00:18:49,602
He tried to pretend he didn't
speak English, remember?
460
00:18:49,604 --> 00:18:52,471
That's right!
The "floonginshorts."
461
00:18:52,473 --> 00:18:53,438
Yes, the "floonginshorts"!
462
00:18:53,440 --> 00:18:56,140
Now we have to make up
our own language?
463
00:18:56,142 --> 00:18:57,141
This is getting exhausting.
464
00:18:57,143 --> 00:18:59,743
You know, feldman's restaurant's
right here in Hartford.
465
00:18:59,745 --> 00:19:00,643
No, really?
Yeah.
466
00:19:00,645 --> 00:19:03,278
We should swing by one night
and bust his chops.
467
00:19:03,280 --> 00:19:05,513
We could keep sending back
plate after plate
468
00:19:05,515 --> 00:19:07,681
until he gets so angry
he comes out.
469
00:19:07,683 --> 00:19:09,182
Let's make a plan.
Sure.
470
00:19:09,184 --> 00:19:11,384
Call me at
the independence inn.
471
00:19:11,386 --> 00:19:12,351
For now.
Sounds great.
472
00:19:12,353 --> 00:19:14,553
So glad we ran into each other.
Me too.
473
00:19:14,555 --> 00:19:16,621
It was nice meeting you.
Good luck with everything.
474
00:19:16,623 --> 00:19:19,657
Thanks, you too.
I'm glad we could catch up too.
475
00:19:19,659 --> 00:19:22,426
If you see fat sal,
give him a kiss.
476
00:19:22,428 --> 00:19:23,760
I'll do that.
Okay.
477
00:19:23,762 --> 00:19:25,695
Bye.
478
00:19:26,264 --> 00:19:27,296
That was a great surprise.
479
00:19:27,298 --> 00:19:31,466
So you and that guy knew each
other, too? What a coincidence!
480
00:19:31,468 --> 00:19:33,701
Come on, honey.
481
00:19:35,738 --> 00:19:37,170
How many times
do I have to tell them?
482
00:19:37,172 --> 00:19:41,140
You can't put a two-inch ladle of
gravy into a one-inch potato crater.
483
00:19:41,142 --> 00:19:43,709
You either need a smaller ladle
or a bigger crater.
484
00:19:43,711 --> 00:19:46,478
Otherwise, you get this.
Gravy on your asparagus.
485
00:19:46,480 --> 00:19:48,680
Yes. Paris,
the cafeteria workers
486
00:19:48,682 --> 00:19:50,181
serve hundreds of students
a day.
487
00:19:50,183 --> 00:19:51,649
A little gravy spillage
is natural.
488
00:19:51,651 --> 00:19:53,851
I see. So I should
just sit quietly
489
00:19:53,853 --> 00:19:56,253
and shovel in whatever slop
they throw my way
490
00:19:56,255 --> 00:19:58,688
like some inmate
in the chow line at leavenworth
491
00:19:58,690 --> 00:20:01,424
doing 20 to life?
I don't think so.
492
00:20:01,426 --> 00:20:03,692
I'll save your seat.
493
00:20:29,720 --> 00:20:31,820
They took my tray.
I can't believe it.
494
00:20:31,822 --> 00:20:35,423
All I did was tell them
I wanted some new asparagus,
495
00:20:35,425 --> 00:20:36,824
and they took my tray.
496
00:20:36,826 --> 00:20:39,293
I told them to buy
a slightly looser hairnet,
497
00:20:39,295 --> 00:20:41,428
that wouldn't squish
the part of the brain
498
00:20:41,430 --> 00:20:42,562
that can judge depth,
measurements,
499
00:20:42,564 --> 00:20:45,464
and then they took my tray,
but still...
500
00:20:45,466 --> 00:20:47,799
Now what?
501
00:20:48,701 --> 00:20:51,468
Are you gonna eat that?
502
00:21:16,261 --> 00:21:18,761
Good. You're here.
We need to talk.
503
00:21:18,763 --> 00:21:21,630
We have three classes together.
We couldn't talk then?
504
00:21:21,632 --> 00:21:23,632
I thought alone
would be better.
505
00:21:23,634 --> 00:21:25,600
Besides, you picked the place.
506
00:21:25,602 --> 00:21:28,769
What do you want?
I want a truce.
507
00:21:28,771 --> 00:21:29,669
Excuse me?
508
00:21:29,671 --> 00:21:32,772
A truce. You know...
no more fighty fighty.
509
00:21:32,774 --> 00:21:34,540
I don't believe you.
510
00:21:34,542 --> 00:21:35,007
Look...
511
00:21:35,009 --> 00:21:37,943
This is not the way
I wanted things to work out.
512
00:21:37,945 --> 00:21:40,745
Honestly. Yes, the hemline thing
bugged me,
513
00:21:40,747 --> 00:21:43,314
Paris is not my idea
of a secret sister,
514
00:21:43,316 --> 00:21:46,417
but I never intended
for things to go so far.
515
00:21:46,419 --> 00:21:47,818
No?
No.
516
00:21:47,820 --> 00:21:48,785
It's my senior year, too.
517
00:21:48,787 --> 00:21:51,654
Why would I want to spend
the whole time
518
00:21:51,656 --> 00:21:52,721
scheming and fighting?
519
00:21:52,723 --> 00:21:53,955
I want to stop this war,
520
00:21:53,957 --> 00:21:57,458
this vendetta,
this... Sicilian thing.
521
00:21:57,460 --> 00:21:58,358
It must end.
522
00:21:58,360 --> 00:21:59,659
This seems awful sudden.
523
00:21:59,661 --> 00:22:00,593
Yes, my time is precious,
524
00:22:00,595 --> 00:22:03,262
if I'm not going to
truly commit to a grudge,
525
00:22:03,264 --> 00:22:05,631
I'd like to put that energy
somewhere else.
526
00:22:05,633 --> 00:22:07,499
Come on.
What do you say?
527
00:22:07,501 --> 00:22:09,667
Friends? Sort of?
528
00:22:09,669 --> 00:22:13,270
Friends. Sort of.
529
00:22:13,272 --> 00:22:14,704
Shake.
530
00:22:23,480 --> 00:22:25,680
Stop doing that!
531
00:22:32,321 --> 00:22:34,688
So you'll come in early
and set up the conference room
532
00:22:34,690 --> 00:22:36,956
for the group from Michigan?
Yes, I will.
533
00:22:36,958 --> 00:22:38,324
Okay. Sookie's on top
of the menu.
534
00:22:38,326 --> 00:22:41,026
Let's make sure the dining
room's open for a late lunch.
535
00:22:41,028 --> 00:22:43,895
We need to confirm the number
of rooms they'll need.
536
00:22:43,897 --> 00:22:46,497
I've all of this written down
on a notepad
537
00:22:46,499 --> 00:22:48,699
right next to
my self-help book.
538
00:22:48,701 --> 00:22:49,332
Sorry.
539
00:22:49,334 --> 00:22:52,301
I'm a little stressed
at this stupid deposition thing.
540
00:22:52,303 --> 00:22:54,002
Relax.
It's very easy.
541
00:22:54,004 --> 00:22:55,536
It is?
You've done it?
542
00:22:55,538 --> 00:22:57,704
Once. It was nothing.
Why were you deposed?
543
00:22:57,706 --> 00:22:59,872
My neighbor had this dog,
a frisky little scamp
544
00:22:59,874 --> 00:23:02,741
that used to love yap
to his friends all night long.
545
00:23:02,743 --> 00:23:05,677
It was so cute.
Then, one day, he disappeared.
546
00:23:05,679 --> 00:23:06,944
I told the police what I knew,
547
00:23:06,946 --> 00:23:10,814
but, sadly, the adorable little
chatterbox was never found.
548
00:23:10,816 --> 00:23:12,715
It was tragic.
549
00:23:12,717 --> 00:23:14,650
You got rid of a dog?
550
00:23:14,652 --> 00:23:15,050
No.
551
00:23:15,052 --> 00:23:16,684
How'd you get rid of a dog?
552
00:23:16,686 --> 00:23:19,553
I'll gladly show you
the transcript from the lawyer
553
00:23:19,555 --> 00:23:20,687
and the lie-detector result.
554
00:23:20,689 --> 00:23:22,855
You're heinous.
And very well-rested.
555
00:23:22,857 --> 00:23:25,023
Lorelai, hi.
Remember me?
556
00:23:25,025 --> 00:23:27,859
Of course I do.
Nice to see you again, Joe.
557
00:23:27,861 --> 00:23:29,861
This is a beautiful place
you have here.
558
00:23:29,863 --> 00:23:31,929
Yeah, well,
it keeps the rain off.
559
00:23:31,931 --> 00:23:33,797
Right.
So, is Sookie around?
560
00:23:33,799 --> 00:23:34,831
Oh, yeah. Um, she is.
561
00:23:34,833 --> 00:23:37,366
Right through there,
in the kitchen.
562
00:23:37,368 --> 00:23:38,100
Thank you.
563
00:23:38,102 --> 00:23:41,436
Give me those.
I'll file them with the rest.
564
00:23:42,472 --> 00:23:44,038
Oh, stop that!
565
00:23:44,440 --> 00:23:46,973
Hey! I'll just be a minute.
No. Don't rush.
566
00:23:46,975 --> 00:23:48,574
I was finished
with the dinner prep,
567
00:23:48,576 --> 00:23:51,677
then I changed my mind
about two of the appetizers.
568
00:23:51,679 --> 00:23:52,577
Sounds like old times.
569
00:23:52,579 --> 00:23:56,414
This place is a long way from
the sweatbox of the deerhill.
570
00:23:56,416 --> 00:23:57,548
We've upgraded a lot recently.
571
00:23:57,550 --> 00:23:59,116
We got a new
refrigerated prep table,
572
00:23:59,118 --> 00:24:01,051
and we replaced
the two vertical mixers.
573
00:24:01,053 --> 00:24:02,452
You still got
the old 52-inch viking.
574
00:24:02,454 --> 00:24:06,489
I just like how big it is.
I blew it up once. Wow.
575
00:24:06,491 --> 00:24:07,723
But I had them rebuild it.
576
00:24:07,725 --> 00:24:09,458
I refuse to cook
on anything else.
577
00:24:09,460 --> 00:24:11,693
Stick with what you know.
Exactly.
578
00:24:11,695 --> 00:24:13,428
Taste this.
579
00:24:13,430 --> 00:24:14,662
Maybe a bit more Brandy.
580
00:24:14,664 --> 00:24:15,896
I knew you'd say that.
581
00:24:15,898 --> 00:24:17,063
Well, people like Brandy.
582
00:24:17,065 --> 00:24:18,764
You mean you like Brandy.
583
00:24:18,766 --> 00:24:19,831
And I'm people.
584
00:24:19,833 --> 00:24:21,465
We always had a good time
together.
585
00:24:21,467 --> 00:24:24,434
It was a good group.
You made it better.
586
00:24:24,436 --> 00:24:25,101
Because I kept you fools
587
00:24:25,103 --> 00:24:27,536
from driving off the side
of a Mountain.
588
00:24:27,538 --> 00:24:29,070
I'm glad
we ran into each other.
589
00:24:29,072 --> 00:24:30,971
It's not often you get
a second chance.
590
00:24:30,973 --> 00:24:33,640
I can't tell you
how many times I kicked myself
591
00:24:33,642 --> 00:24:36,109
for not asking you out.
Every time I got close,
592
00:24:36,111 --> 00:24:39,512
we'd end up talking about the
best way to make calf's liver.
593
00:24:39,514 --> 00:24:41,647
Sauteed with caramelized onions.
Exactly.
594
00:24:41,649 --> 00:24:43,548
When I saw you at the center,
595
00:24:43,550 --> 00:24:44,515
it was like fate was saying,
596
00:24:44,517 --> 00:24:48,952
"here you go, man.
Try not to screw it up again."
597
00:24:48,954 --> 00:24:50,154
Uh-huh.
598
00:24:50,156 --> 00:24:53,657
Um, could you just, uh, stir?
599
00:24:53,659 --> 00:24:56,159
Yeah.
I'll... I'll be back.
600
00:24:57,028 --> 00:24:57,960
Oh, no, sir.
601
00:24:57,962 --> 00:24:59,895
We don't offer
a complimentary breakfast.
602
00:24:59,897 --> 00:25:00,829
He thinks it's a date!
603
00:25:00,831 --> 00:25:03,798
Uh, yes, sir.
I realize the ramada does.
604
00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:04,832
Lorelai!
605
00:25:04,834 --> 00:25:05,666
Uh, well, if you like,
606
00:25:05,668 --> 00:25:08,969
I could recommend
a few places in town.
607
00:25:08,971 --> 00:25:09,970
Uh, okay. Uh-huh.
Sure.
608
00:25:09,972 --> 00:25:13,740
Why don't you talk to your wife
and call me back?
609
00:25:13,742 --> 00:25:15,141
Okay. Bye.
610
00:25:15,143 --> 00:25:16,709
Hey. What's going on?
611
00:25:16,711 --> 00:25:17,843
He thinks it's a date.
What?
612
00:25:17,845 --> 00:25:20,846
Joe... he thinks this is a date.
Is he crazy?
613
00:25:20,848 --> 00:25:22,948
You were there.
It's not a date, is it?
614
00:25:22,950 --> 00:25:26,117
No! The two of you were gonna
go bust feldster's chops.
615
00:25:26,119 --> 00:25:27,852
Busting chops is not a date.
616
00:25:27,854 --> 00:25:29,787
He keeps saying
how he liked me then
617
00:25:29,789 --> 00:25:31,855
and how this is
his second chance.
618
00:25:31,857 --> 00:25:33,957
He's liked you for ten years?
619
00:25:33,959 --> 00:25:34,724
Yes.
Wow.
620
00:25:34,726 --> 00:25:37,259
That is some serious
"great gatsby" pining.
621
00:25:37,261 --> 00:25:39,227
I know.
You're his Daisy.
622
00:25:39,229 --> 00:25:40,928
I am?
I'm his Daisy.
623
00:25:40,930 --> 00:25:42,229
I'm someone's Daisy.
624
00:25:42,231 --> 00:25:44,064
It's very flattering.
It is very flattering.
625
00:25:44,066 --> 00:25:47,600
But I didn't bring it on, did I?
Did I flirt?
626
00:25:47,602 --> 00:25:48,767
You did not flirt.
627
00:25:48,769 --> 00:25:51,102
You can't flirt
when talking about bung.
628
00:25:51,104 --> 00:25:51,969
It's impossible.
629
00:25:51,971 --> 00:25:54,671
He read something into it
because he wanted.
630
00:25:54,673 --> 00:25:55,638
What's Jackson gonna say?
631
00:25:55,640 --> 00:25:57,573
It's a misunderstanding.
Jackson will be fine.
632
00:25:57,575 --> 00:25:59,741
Just go in there
and explain it to Joe.
633
00:25:59,743 --> 00:26:01,709
What do I tell him?
He's waited years.
634
00:26:01,711 --> 00:26:03,977
How do you hand out
that kinda rejection?
635
00:26:03,979 --> 00:26:06,145
I could tell him I've become
a lesbian.
636
00:26:06,147 --> 00:26:07,813
Yeah.
Or "I'm married" might work.
637
00:26:07,815 --> 00:26:10,782
Right. I'm married. Good.
That's very good.
638
00:26:10,784 --> 00:26:13,785
It's gonna be fine. Joe's
a nice guy with taste.
639
00:26:13,787 --> 00:26:15,787
I'm his Daisy.
Be happy later.
640
00:26:15,789 --> 00:26:17,555
Right.
I'm goin' in.
641
00:26:17,557 --> 00:26:18,989
Independence inn.
Lorelai speaking.
642
00:26:18,991 --> 00:26:23,126
So, at the risk of seeming like
Joe the drunken chef,
643
00:26:23,128 --> 00:26:25,728
I added some more port
to the cumberland sauce.
644
00:26:25,730 --> 00:26:26,962
Now, just promise to try it.
645
00:26:26,964 --> 00:26:29,064
Joe, we need to talk.
Wow. You've mellowed.
646
00:26:29,066 --> 00:26:31,733
Before you would've
just called me an idiot
647
00:26:31,735 --> 00:26:32,734
and dumped it in the trash.
648
00:26:32,736 --> 00:26:34,635
It's not that. It...
you put in more port?
649
00:26:34,637 --> 00:26:38,739
This is a pheasant sauce, not
the punch bowl at a frat party.
650
00:26:38,741 --> 00:26:40,040
Just try it.
No! No, no.
651
00:26:40,042 --> 00:26:42,342
That's not what I meant to say.
652
00:26:42,344 --> 00:26:43,776
It's just...
653
00:26:43,778 --> 00:26:45,010
There's been
a misunderstanding.
654
00:26:45,012 --> 00:26:48,646
I thought this thing tonight was
just a... Friends thing.
655
00:26:48,648 --> 00:26:49,980
You know?
Not like a date thing.
656
00:26:49,982 --> 00:26:53,049
Oh. Not that going out
with you would be bad...
657
00:26:53,051 --> 00:26:56,619
except it would be very,
very bad.
658
00:26:56,621 --> 00:26:57,019
Wow.
659
00:26:57,021 --> 00:26:58,253
But only because I'm married.
660
00:26:58,255 --> 00:27:00,288
I meant to say that first!
See?
661
00:27:00,290 --> 00:27:02,323
Last may I just...
where's my...
662
00:27:02,325 --> 00:27:03,691
oh, hang on.
663
00:27:03,693 --> 00:27:06,894
See, this was supposed to be...
When I hold my hand up,
664
00:27:06,896 --> 00:27:09,997
'cause otherwise,
"what's she doing?" Right?
665
00:27:09,999 --> 00:27:11,031
Okay. Here.
666
00:27:11,033 --> 00:27:12,233
I take it off when I'm cooking,
667
00:27:12,234 --> 00:27:16,202
but there it is, right where it
should be... on my finger.
668
00:27:16,204 --> 00:27:18,304
You're married.
Yes, I am.
669
00:27:18,306 --> 00:27:19,171
I hope that's okay.
670
00:27:19,173 --> 00:27:22,240
If your husband's good with it,
who am I to complain?
671
00:27:22,242 --> 00:27:24,242
You're not mad?
Why would I be mad?
672
00:27:24,244 --> 00:27:26,677
Because you thought
this was a date.
673
00:27:26,679 --> 00:27:28,679
Feeling a little stupid,
but not mad.
674
00:27:28,681 --> 00:27:30,847
Here. Let me give you
some money.
675
00:27:30,849 --> 00:27:31,849
I didn't spend any money.
676
00:27:31,850 --> 00:27:34,050
Let me give you
some money anyway.
677
00:27:34,052 --> 00:27:34,917
The only way I'll be mad
678
00:27:34,919 --> 00:27:37,886
is if you throw that sauce out
before you try it, okay?
679
00:27:37,888 --> 00:27:41,756
Why don't we make a plan to
harass feldman some other time?
680
00:27:41,758 --> 00:27:42,757
You can bring your husband,
681
00:27:42,759 --> 00:27:45,693
and I'll see if I can get
a real date.
682
00:27:45,695 --> 00:27:47,027
That'd be fun.
683
00:27:47,863 --> 00:27:51,397
We could even get
some of the old gang together.
684
00:27:51,399 --> 00:27:53,665
I'll drive.
685
00:27:53,667 --> 00:27:57,335
I guess this will teach me
not to wait ten years next time.
686
00:27:57,337 --> 00:27:59,370
Anyway, I'll give you a call.
687
00:27:59,372 --> 00:28:02,239
Bye, Joe.
688
00:28:02,241 --> 00:28:03,740
See? He's smiling.
689
00:28:03,742 --> 00:28:06,309
I knew it was nothing to get
worked up over.
690
00:28:06,311 --> 00:28:08,311
You obviously let him down
very well.
691
00:28:08,313 --> 00:28:11,714
And now maybe you guys
can be friends.
692
00:28:11,716 --> 00:28:13,415
I'm a whore!
693
00:28:13,417 --> 00:28:16,184
This is silly.
I know how to answer a question.
694
00:28:16,186 --> 00:28:17,351
This is your first deposition.
695
00:28:17,353 --> 00:28:19,686
Grandma's lawyers
want you to be prepared.
696
00:28:19,688 --> 00:28:20,687
Sample questions.
Great.
697
00:28:20,689 --> 00:28:23,122
It's bad enough I have to give
a deposition.
698
00:28:23,124 --> 00:28:24,990
Now I have to study for it?
699
00:28:24,992 --> 00:28:26,091
Shall we begin?
Go ahead.
700
00:28:26,093 --> 00:28:28,827
"Please describe how your mother
runs her household."
701
00:28:28,829 --> 00:28:31,095
Well, do you remember
the rowing scene in "Ben-hur"?
702
00:28:31,097 --> 00:28:33,130
Mom. I'm sorry.
Did that reference date me?
703
00:28:33,132 --> 00:28:35,432
Should I have gone with
the "express yourself" video?
704
00:28:35,434 --> 00:28:37,967
Should we stop? I'm sorry.
Ask me another.
705
00:28:37,969 --> 00:28:39,368
"Would you say your mother is
706
00:28:39,370 --> 00:28:40,936
an easy woman
to get along with?"
707
00:28:40,938 --> 00:28:43,305
No. Next.
You're not taking this seriously.
708
00:28:43,307 --> 00:28:45,106
I am taking this seriously.
709
00:28:45,108 --> 00:28:46,440
Well, you can't say that.
710
00:28:46,442 --> 00:28:49,709
Oh, wow.
So you want me to lie.
711
00:28:49,711 --> 00:28:50,376
You don't have to lie.
712
00:28:50,378 --> 00:28:52,811
It's all about how you present
the truth.
713
00:28:52,813 --> 00:28:54,746
For example,
you could have said,
714
00:28:54,748 --> 00:28:55,880
"my mother is
a perfectionist."
715
00:28:55,882 --> 00:28:59,316
Uh-huh. And do you promise
to visit mommy in jail?
716
00:28:59,318 --> 00:29:00,817
Yes, I do.
Okay, then.
717
00:29:00,819 --> 00:29:03,252
My mother is a perfectionist.
718
00:29:03,254 --> 00:29:04,319
Oh, hey.
Where are you going?
719
00:29:04,321 --> 00:29:07,755
Well, I'm going to doose's
because we are out of food.
720
00:29:07,757 --> 00:29:08,956
How can you be out of food?
721
00:29:08,958 --> 00:29:11,692
It starts with, "Jess, you do
the ordering this week,"
722
00:29:11,694 --> 00:29:14,761
it ends with me selling kirk
a lettuce sandwich.
723
00:29:14,763 --> 00:29:15,394
We've eaten those.
724
00:29:15,396 --> 00:29:18,263
I'm gonna pick up some stuff
to hold us over.
725
00:29:18,265 --> 00:29:20,031
Get some burgers.
And tater tots.
726
00:29:20,033 --> 00:29:21,332
And pickles.
Hold on a sec.
727
00:29:21,334 --> 00:29:23,067
Uh, burgers, tater tots,
pickles...
728
00:29:23,069 --> 00:29:24,902
you want cheese on the burger?
729
00:29:24,904 --> 00:29:25,936
Cheddar.
And Swiss.
730
00:29:25,938 --> 00:29:27,837
Dessert?
We've to decide right now?
731
00:29:27,839 --> 00:29:29,338
I would seriously advise it.
732
00:29:29,340 --> 00:29:30,439
Pie.
Cherry.
733
00:29:30,441 --> 00:29:31,273
And whipped cream.
734
00:29:31,275 --> 00:29:33,174
And dental floss.
And paper towels.
735
00:29:33,176 --> 00:29:36,710
And people magazine.
We're really hungry.
736
00:29:50,191 --> 00:29:55,027
Paris. Good.
I so need to talk to you.
737
00:29:56,397 --> 00:29:58,997
Are you lost?
738
00:29:58,999 --> 00:29:59,831
Listen, first of all,
739
00:29:59,833 --> 00:30:04,135
I really want to commend you
on your job as president so far.
740
00:30:04,137 --> 00:30:04,869
Thank you.
741
00:30:04,871 --> 00:30:05,870
The way you negotiate around
742
00:30:05,872 --> 00:30:08,906
some of those convoluted
school issues... mind-blowing.
743
00:30:08,908 --> 00:30:10,474
I watch in awe.
Uh-huh.
744
00:30:10,476 --> 00:30:12,375
And that's why this is so hard.
745
00:30:12,377 --> 00:30:14,510
Because I have major respect
for you,
746
00:30:14,512 --> 00:30:15,811
and the last thing I'd want
747
00:30:15,813 --> 00:30:19,114
is for you to get the wrong
impression about my loyalties.
748
00:30:19,116 --> 00:30:20,181
What are you talking about?
749
00:30:20,183 --> 00:30:22,216
These were shoved
in my locker this morning.
750
00:30:22,218 --> 00:30:25,419
And I didn't know what to do,
so I thought to myself,
751
00:30:25,421 --> 00:30:28,088
"I'll just show them to Paris
and explain,
752
00:30:28,090 --> 00:30:28,988
and she'll understand."
753
00:30:28,990 --> 00:30:31,023
Explain what?
What is this?
754
00:30:31,025 --> 00:30:31,923
Rory came to me
755
00:30:31,925 --> 00:30:34,158
and said she wanted to talk
about some things...
756
00:30:34,160 --> 00:30:37,060
policy, the prom,
the senior gift, et cetera...
757
00:30:37,062 --> 00:30:39,996
so, of course, I said,
"why don't we talk about them
758
00:30:39,998 --> 00:30:41,797
at the student council meeting
with Paris?"
759
00:30:41,799 --> 00:30:44,299
And she said she wanted to
do this without Paris.
760
00:30:44,301 --> 00:30:46,167
She said,
"Paris is just too wrapped up
761
00:30:46,169 --> 00:30:49,236
in that boyfriend of hers
to care about any of this."
762
00:30:49,238 --> 00:30:51,371
I didn't know what to do,
so I went.
763
00:30:51,373 --> 00:30:53,840
And then I found these,
and I'm just so upset.
764
00:30:53,842 --> 00:30:56,175
I would never intentionally do
anything behind your back.
765
00:30:56,177 --> 00:30:59,044
I promise... the next time
Rory tries to get me to,
766
00:30:59,046 --> 00:31:01,780
I'm just gonna say,
"talk to the hand."
767
00:31:01,782 --> 00:31:02,547
You know what I mean?
768
00:31:02,549 --> 00:31:04,415
Yes, I know what you mean.
769
00:31:04,417 --> 00:31:06,083
Are you mad?
Say you're not mad.
770
00:31:06,085 --> 00:31:09,286
I just couldn't live
if I thought you were mad.
771
00:31:09,288 --> 00:31:10,987
No, I'm not mad.
772
00:31:15,026 --> 00:31:17,793
Well, thank God for that.
773
00:31:22,099 --> 00:31:25,200
Okay, class, we will begin
in five minutes.
774
00:31:26,069 --> 00:31:27,401
Does your helmet smell?
775
00:31:27,403 --> 00:31:28,835
I always get one that smells.
776
00:31:28,837 --> 00:31:31,170
You'd think the brain trust
behind p.E.
777
00:31:31,172 --> 00:31:32,437
Could come up with some sport
778
00:31:32,439 --> 00:31:34,005
that didn't give you
helmet hair.
779
00:31:34,007 --> 00:31:36,140
Like badminton.
Or striptease aerobics.
780
00:31:36,142 --> 00:31:38,008
What?
It's really big in L.A.
781
00:31:38,010 --> 00:31:40,043
You don't actually
have to strip.
782
00:31:40,045 --> 00:31:41,310
Do the other people
throw money?
783
00:31:41,312 --> 00:31:44,146
Fine. Mock. But have you ever
seen an overweight stripper?
784
00:31:44,148 --> 00:31:47,582
The word "no" seems so wildly
inadequate all of a sudden.
785
00:31:47,584 --> 00:31:50,418
Where have you been?
Washing my hands.
786
00:31:50,420 --> 00:31:52,386
Alright, everyone.
Take your places.
787
00:31:52,388 --> 00:31:56,022
We will warm up with your
counter-sixte-riposte quarte.
788
00:31:56,024 --> 00:31:57,156
Melanie, please lead the group.
789
00:31:57,158 --> 00:31:59,191
Oh, my God.
There's a hair in mine.
790
00:31:59,193 --> 00:32:01,426
Just close your eyes
and think of england, honey.
791
00:32:01,428 --> 00:32:03,895
Doesn't it seem strange to be
practicing a sport
792
00:32:03,897 --> 00:32:05,263
whose original purpose was to
kill people?
793
00:32:05,265 --> 00:32:08,866
It's like if high schools of the
future had teams in artillery
794
00:32:08,868 --> 00:32:11,902
or high-altitude bombing
or something.
795
00:32:11,904 --> 00:32:12,569
Beginning salute.
796
00:32:12,571 --> 00:32:15,538
En garde.
Right-side advance.
797
00:32:15,540 --> 00:32:17,373
You okay?
Right-side retreat.
798
00:32:17,375 --> 00:32:19,241
Why do you ask?
And lunge.
799
00:32:19,243 --> 00:32:20,575
You just seem weird.
800
00:32:20,577 --> 00:32:21,609
Left-side advance.
801
00:32:21,611 --> 00:32:23,477
Easy, there, Paris.
Left-side retreat.
802
00:32:23,479 --> 00:32:25,078
We're fencing, Rory,
not playing Patty-cake.
803
00:32:25,080 --> 00:32:28,414
You know, it's interesting
how you think you know someone.
804
00:32:28,416 --> 00:32:29,348
Right-side quarte lunge.
805
00:32:29,350 --> 00:32:31,616
You trust a person,
you rely on a person,
806
00:32:31,618 --> 00:32:34,018
you turn around
and realize you've been had.
807
00:32:34,020 --> 00:32:35,986
Ever experience that?
Riposte.
808
00:32:35,988 --> 00:32:38,922
I hate being had.
Why are you telling me this?
809
00:32:38,924 --> 00:32:41,357
You're not supposed to be
parrying that hard.
810
00:32:41,359 --> 00:32:42,559
Maybe I should turn around
811
00:32:42,561 --> 00:32:44,360
so you can just stick it
in my back.
812
00:32:44,362 --> 00:32:46,662
What're you talking about?
I saw the pictures.
813
00:32:46,664 --> 00:32:48,463
What pictures?
You know what pictures.
814
00:32:48,465 --> 00:32:49,597
Obviously I don't know
what pictures.
815
00:32:49,599 --> 00:32:53,434
The pictures of you and francie
in the parking garage
816
00:32:53,436 --> 00:32:54,334
talking about me.
817
00:32:54,336 --> 00:32:55,635
Don't make that face at me.
818
00:32:55,637 --> 00:32:56,736
What?
I'm wearing a mask.
819
00:32:56,738 --> 00:32:59,739
The "I'm Rory.
Don't you want to pet me?" Face.
820
00:32:59,741 --> 00:33:01,073
I know you've been meeting.
821
00:33:01,075 --> 00:33:02,541
We haven't.
We met once...
822
00:33:02,543 --> 00:33:03,642
aha! You admit it!
823
00:33:03,644 --> 00:33:05,377
It wasn't what you think!
824
00:33:05,379 --> 00:33:06,711
Brutus!
825
00:33:16,288 --> 00:33:19,322
Paris, you have to listen to me.
Francie wanted to meet.
826
00:33:19,324 --> 00:33:21,357
She said she wanted to call
a truce.
827
00:33:21,359 --> 00:33:23,625
She took those pictures.
She's setting me up.
828
00:33:23,627 --> 00:33:25,526
She's trying to manipulate you.
829
00:33:25,528 --> 00:33:26,527
You think I don't know
830
00:33:26,529 --> 00:33:28,228
when someone's trying to
manipulate me?
831
00:33:28,230 --> 00:33:29,529
But it doesn't change the fact
832
00:33:29,531 --> 00:33:32,231
that you met with her
behind my back.
833
00:33:33,000 --> 00:33:35,133
I was trying to help you.
You were?
834
00:33:35,135 --> 00:33:37,001
You mean,
in between betraying me.
835
00:33:37,003 --> 00:33:41,472
And selling me out.
You were trying to help me?
836
00:33:41,474 --> 00:33:44,608
Stop it!
Make me.
837
00:33:46,178 --> 00:33:47,177
Come back here, gilmore!
838
00:33:47,179 --> 00:33:50,113
Come back and fight like a man!
839
00:33:57,020 --> 00:33:59,487
And the worst part is,
you told her about Jamie.
840
00:33:59,489 --> 00:34:03,524
I can't believe I ever
considered you my best friend.
841
00:34:11,634 --> 00:34:12,532
I still can't believe it.
842
00:34:12,534 --> 00:34:15,167
I can't believe
I got sucked in like that.
843
00:34:15,169 --> 00:34:16,301
That francie is pure evil,
844
00:34:16,303 --> 00:34:17,502
so she'll probably wind up
president.
845
00:34:17,504 --> 00:34:20,238
Paris is so upset. She totally
thinks I betrayed her.
846
00:34:20,240 --> 00:34:22,807
She'll calm down.
Paris has never calmed down.
847
00:34:22,809 --> 00:34:25,543
I can't believe I was
her best friend.
848
00:34:25,545 --> 00:34:26,343
I-I feel awful.
849
00:34:26,345 --> 00:34:27,477
If you want to
make things right,
850
00:34:27,479 --> 00:34:30,746
just go back to school tomorrow
and let her stab you. Great idea.
851
00:34:30,748 --> 00:34:35,050
I'm nothing if not full of suggestions.
Or full of something.
852
00:34:35,052 --> 00:34:35,550
Hey, grandma.
853
00:34:35,552 --> 00:34:36,651
Hi, mom.
Come in. It's cold.
854
00:34:36,653 --> 00:34:40,154
Do you want me to talk to her...
arrange a sit-down?
855
00:34:40,156 --> 00:34:41,388
No, thanks.
Come on!
856
00:34:41,390 --> 00:34:43,323
We'll have it
in an Italian restaurant.
857
00:34:43,325 --> 00:34:45,358
You'll get up, go
to the bathroom... thanks...
858
00:34:45,360 --> 00:34:48,394
and come out shooting,
then I'll send you to Italy.
859
00:34:48,396 --> 00:34:49,728
I do want to go to Italy.
860
00:34:49,730 --> 00:34:53,298
Two birds with one stone,
my friend.
861
00:34:53,300 --> 00:34:54,165
Is everything okay, mom?
862
00:34:54,167 --> 00:34:56,567
Of course it's okay.
Why wouldn't it be okay?
863
00:34:56,569 --> 00:34:58,368
I don't know.
You seem quiet.
864
00:34:58,370 --> 00:35:00,603
Do I?
I guess I do.
865
00:35:00,605 --> 00:35:03,205
I don't really have a lot
to say, actually.
866
00:35:03,207 --> 00:35:06,374
I know.
Why don't I read to you instead?
867
00:35:06,376 --> 00:35:07,708
What's that?
This? Nothing.
868
00:35:07,710 --> 00:35:10,544
Just your deposition.
How did you get...
869
00:35:10,546 --> 00:35:12,379
shh. Listen. It's fun.
870
00:35:12,381 --> 00:35:13,113
Okay.
871
00:35:13,115 --> 00:35:17,217
Question... "would you say your
mother is a tolerant woman?"
872
00:35:17,219 --> 00:35:17,784
Oh, boy.
873
00:35:17,786 --> 00:35:19,819
Answer... "um, well, sure."
874
00:35:19,821 --> 00:35:20,719
What? I said you were.
875
00:35:20,721 --> 00:35:23,354
You said "sure."
Which, to most people, means yes.
876
00:35:23,356 --> 00:35:27,658
To most people it does, but
your "sure" is always sarcastic.
877
00:35:27,660 --> 00:35:30,360
I do not have a sarcastic
"sure."
878
00:35:30,362 --> 00:35:30,760
Do I?
879
00:35:30,762 --> 00:35:32,828
Pick spot on carpet and stare.
880
00:35:32,830 --> 00:35:35,864
Question... "why has your mother
dismissed maids in the past?"
881
00:35:35,866 --> 00:35:38,399
Mom!
Answer... "different reasons."
882
00:35:38,401 --> 00:35:39,433
That's true, right?
883
00:35:39,435 --> 00:35:40,333
"Can you expand on that?"
884
00:35:40,335 --> 00:35:43,669
Answer... "gee,
how much time do you have?"
885
00:35:43,671 --> 00:35:45,704
Okay. See...
"if you guys have lunch
886
00:35:45,706 --> 00:35:46,771
"or an afternoon squash game...
887
00:35:46,773 --> 00:35:49,640
"you look like the kinda guys
who play squash...
888
00:35:49,642 --> 00:35:50,874
"hey, why is it called squash?
889
00:35:50,876 --> 00:35:53,776
"Is it something to do with the
fruit... or vegetable?
890
00:35:53,778 --> 00:35:56,245
"Squash is a vegetable,
though, if you ask me,
891
00:35:56,247 --> 00:35:58,680
"it's gross
no matter what you call it.
892
00:35:58,682 --> 00:35:59,614
"Anyway, what I'm saying
893
00:35:59,616 --> 00:36:01,549
is you might want to clear
your afternoon."
894
00:36:01,551 --> 00:36:04,518
I was flustered.
He was using lawyer tricks.
895
00:36:04,520 --> 00:36:06,553
By asking you to expand?
Now you pipe in?
896
00:36:06,555 --> 00:36:09,789
Didn't I tell you this was important?
Yes, you did.
897
00:36:09,791 --> 00:36:12,591
You couldn't find it
in your heart
898
00:36:12,593 --> 00:36:15,760
to put aside your personal
antagonism toward me for one day
899
00:36:15,762 --> 00:36:17,828
and help me out?
This is not fair.
900
00:36:17,830 --> 00:36:20,764
I said a lot of nice things
about you.
901
00:36:20,766 --> 00:36:21,498
Oh, really?
902
00:36:21,500 --> 00:36:24,133
"Would you say your mother sets
impossible goals
903
00:36:24,135 --> 00:36:26,201
"which people cannot help
but fail to reach,
904
00:36:26,203 --> 00:36:29,370
"thereby reinforcing her
already-formed opinion
905
00:36:29,372 --> 00:36:30,437
of their deficiencies?"
906
00:36:30,439 --> 00:36:32,539
Answer...
"only for her daughter."
907
00:36:32,541 --> 00:36:33,907
Okay, not there,
but keep flipping.
908
00:36:33,909 --> 00:36:37,243
I'm sorry to interrupt, but
dinner is ready, Mrs. gilmore.
909
00:36:37,245 --> 00:36:40,279
Dinner! Hey!
Dinner's ready!
910
00:36:40,281 --> 00:36:42,781
Who's hungry besides me?
911
00:36:42,783 --> 00:36:45,850
I'd keep it warm.
We're gonna be here awhile.
912
00:36:45,852 --> 00:36:46,784
Okay. Go ahead.
913
00:36:46,786 --> 00:36:50,354
"Would you call your mother
an extremely critical woman?
914
00:36:50,356 --> 00:36:51,555
A long pause."
915
00:36:51,557 --> 00:36:53,156
Why was there a long pause,
lorelai?
916
00:36:53,158 --> 00:36:55,291
Because I was deliberately
trying to hurt you, mom.
917
00:36:55,293 --> 00:36:58,694
"On a scale from one to ten,
what would you rate your mother
918
00:36:58,696 --> 00:37:01,196
in terms of compassion
for other people's feelings?"
919
00:37:01,198 --> 00:37:02,797
Want to guess what she said?
920
00:37:02,799 --> 00:37:04,298
No, thank you.
Mom.
921
00:37:04,300 --> 00:37:05,198
Hang on a second, lorelai.
922
00:37:05,200 --> 00:37:08,701
I just want to skip
to the "Ben-hur" reference.
923
00:37:09,737 --> 00:37:12,304
Yeah. I did.
924
00:37:54,448 --> 00:37:55,447
Sookie, I'm home.
925
00:37:55,449 --> 00:37:56,981
I got the...
surprise!
926
00:37:56,983 --> 00:37:57,982
What is this?
927
00:37:57,984 --> 00:37:59,249
I made you dinner.
928
00:37:59,251 --> 00:38:00,316
It smells terrific.
929
00:38:00,318 --> 00:38:03,385
Lamb chops with sicilian olives,
Rosemary, and garlic
930
00:38:03,387 --> 00:38:04,652
and a warm
potato-and-chorizo salad.
931
00:38:04,654 --> 00:38:08,489
I love lamb chops with sicilian
olives, Rosemary, and garlic
932
00:38:08,491 --> 00:38:10,691
and a warm
potato-and-chorizo salad.
933
00:38:10,693 --> 00:38:11,358
I know.
934
00:38:11,360 --> 00:38:12,826
What's that?
Beef jerky.
935
00:38:12,828 --> 00:38:14,961
You made beef jerky for me.
936
00:38:14,963 --> 00:38:15,795
And there's corn bread
937
00:38:15,797 --> 00:38:17,396
and fried marshmallow pie
for dessert!
938
00:38:17,398 --> 00:38:19,631
And you have ccr on.
Well, you like ccr.
939
00:38:19,633 --> 00:38:22,433
I know I like ccr.
You don't like ccr.
940
00:38:22,435 --> 00:38:25,502
Sometimes I like ccr,
and tonight I like ccr.
941
00:38:25,504 --> 00:38:27,670
You cheated on me!
942
00:38:27,672 --> 00:38:28,537
No!
Oh, my God!
943
00:38:28,539 --> 00:38:30,539
I just flirted...
accidentally!
944
00:38:30,541 --> 00:38:32,774
Turn it off!
Let me explain!
945
00:38:32,776 --> 00:38:33,775
Every time I hear it now
946
00:38:33,777 --> 00:38:36,477
it'll remind me
my wife cheated on me!
947
00:38:36,479 --> 00:38:37,611
Flirted! Accidentally!
948
00:38:37,613 --> 00:38:41,414
You ruined creedence for me!
949
00:38:42,617 --> 00:38:44,416
I'm going to bed.
950
00:38:44,418 --> 00:38:44,883
At 9:30?
951
00:38:44,885 --> 00:38:47,552
Going a whole day
without talking to anyone
952
00:38:47,554 --> 00:38:48,586
is a lot more tiring.
953
00:38:48,588 --> 00:38:49,687
I hate those girls.
It's fine.
954
00:38:49,689 --> 00:38:52,656
It was the first lunch that
didn't start with a recitation
955
00:38:52,658 --> 00:38:55,592
of the calorie content
of everything on the table,
956
00:38:55,594 --> 00:38:57,026
it was kind of a relief.
957
00:38:57,028 --> 00:38:57,893
I hate them anyhow.
958
00:38:57,895 --> 00:38:59,928
Night.
Goodnight, babe.
959
00:39:06,602 --> 00:39:06,967
Hello?
960
00:39:06,969 --> 00:39:08,635
Lorelai?
It's Alex lesman.
961
00:39:08,637 --> 00:39:09,736
We met at the learning center.
962
00:39:09,738 --> 00:39:13,005
My friend accidentally asked
your friend on a date.
963
00:39:13,007 --> 00:39:13,705
Um, right. Hi.
964
00:39:13,707 --> 00:39:16,441
How are you?
Fat sal sends his love.
965
00:39:16,443 --> 00:39:17,275
Right back at him.
966
00:39:17,277 --> 00:39:20,845
You're probably wondering
how I got your number.
967
00:39:20,847 --> 00:39:21,679
Information?
968
00:39:21,681 --> 00:39:23,647
That would've been
far too logical.
969
00:39:23,649 --> 00:39:24,648
I actually called your inn.
970
00:39:24,650 --> 00:39:26,850
This French guy gave me
your home number.
971
00:39:26,852 --> 00:39:28,785
Said I shouldn't worry
about calling late,
972
00:39:28,787 --> 00:39:30,720
you usually stay up
till 3:00, 4:00.
973
00:39:30,722 --> 00:39:33,689
Don't worry about him.
He's getting fired tomorrow.
974
00:39:33,691 --> 00:39:34,389
So, what's up?
975
00:39:34,391 --> 00:39:36,290
Well, I was wondering
something.
976
00:39:36,292 --> 00:39:37,858
Uh-huh.
977
00:39:37,860 --> 00:39:38,959
I like coffee shops,
978
00:39:38,961 --> 00:39:40,460
try their coffee,
see what they're doing.
979
00:39:40,462 --> 00:39:43,830
See if there's anything you can
steal and disguise as your own?
980
00:39:43,832 --> 00:39:45,765
Exactly... kind of a low-rent
corporate espionage.
981
00:39:45,767 --> 00:39:47,700
Anyway, sometimes
I'll hit two coffee shops
982
00:39:47,702 --> 00:39:49,668
that have surprisingly
similar product,
983
00:39:49,670 --> 00:39:52,370
and I cannot decide
which one is better.
984
00:39:52,372 --> 00:39:53,437
Bummer.
Yes. Bummer.
985
00:39:53,439 --> 00:39:56,072
I thought it would help to have
another person there
986
00:39:56,074 --> 00:39:57,807
who'd help me make
these crucial evaluations.
987
00:39:57,809 --> 00:40:00,309
Interesting solution
to a fascinating problem.
988
00:40:00,311 --> 00:40:02,978
So I was wondering what you were
doing this Saturday.
989
00:40:02,980 --> 00:40:04,779
It's funny you ask,
I happen to be
990
00:40:04,781 --> 00:40:07,081
the world's foremost coffee experts.
Really?
991
00:40:07,083 --> 00:40:10,818
It's basically just me and this
guy named chuckles in Brazil.
992
00:40:10,820 --> 00:40:13,921
Sounds like fate.
So what do you say?
993
00:40:13,923 --> 00:40:14,855
Sure.
Great.
994
00:40:14,857 --> 00:40:18,425
To be on the safe side...
you know this is a date?
995
00:40:18,427 --> 00:40:19,793
Oh, yeah. I got that.
Good.
996
00:40:19,795 --> 00:40:22,729
You guys come up with a name
for your place yet?
997
00:40:22,731 --> 00:40:24,797
Right now the top contender
is sludge.
998
00:40:24,799 --> 00:40:26,465
Excuse me?
Moving on.
999
00:40:26,467 --> 00:40:29,000
My partner likes regular Joe.
1000
00:40:29,002 --> 00:40:30,968
Then again, his name is Joe.
1001
00:40:30,970 --> 00:40:31,969
Oh. Fancy that.
1002
00:40:31,971 --> 00:40:34,871
So, still won't let go
of the mudhouse, huh?
1003
00:40:34,873 --> 00:40:36,772
'Fraid not.
What else you got?
1004
00:40:36,774 --> 00:40:39,741
Well, okay. How about
black liquid hope sold here?
1005
00:40:39,743 --> 00:40:42,910
See, now you're making
some progress.